Torn
by blackrose113
Summary: She couldn’t decide whether she loved him or hated him. He broke her heart and made it whole…but past the pain and pleasure she was still torn. Based on song ‘Torn’. Oneshot. SasuSaku


**Disclaimer:** Don't own, don't sue.

**Summary:** She couldn't decide whether she loved him or hated him. He broke her heart and made it whole…but past the pain and pleasure she was still torn. Based on song 'Torn'. Oneshot. SasuSaku

**Torn**

**I thought I saw a man brought to life**

-0-

Maybe it was that first time that he had saved her. That time on the mission. He had jumped in front of a torrent of kunai to save her. Just has he had done for Naruto in their fight with Haku and Zabuza. Maybe it was _then_ that she had finally begun to love him. Love him the way she still did.

'_No I don't.'_

-0-

**He was warm, he came around like he was dignified**

-0-

"Sakura! Sakura wake up! Are you alright!"

Those words, she decided, were the trigger to her realization. _'I love you.'_ Maybe she wished that day had never happened. Maybe she decided that love wasn't worth un-surmountable pain. Maybe she decided it was. _'It wasn't.'_

-0-

**He showed me what it was to cry**

-0-

She had tended to him while he was unconscious, tossing and turning in his forced sleep. Naruto and Kakashi had gone off for firewood and food. There was a fish filled lake nearby.

She had dabbed at his sweating forehead with a cool, wet cloth and she gently stroked his cheek as his breathing hitched. He slapped her hand away, even in his unconscious state, and tears leaked down his face. "Why…Itachi?" She hadn't understood it back then. Maybe she wished she still didn't—not under the circumstances she found out, anyways. Perhaps knowing the truth was better than wearing rose colored glasses.

'_That bastard abandoned love for hate. I wish I never knew.'_

-0-

**Well you couldn't be that man I adored**

-0-

"Crying is for the weak, Sakura. You're just further reinforcing the reason why I would never care about you!"

More tears. He thought tears were weak. But he had cried himself. _'Hypocrite!'_ Maybe he was just putting up a front of strength, just to get him through the day. Maybe he was, in reality, 'weak'. "Stop following me around! You're so weak…" Maybe his strength was pushing his true desires away. Maybe he really did love her, but he needed to finish one chapter of his life—Itachi—in order to start a new one. Maybe he really _was_ strong and he was lying when he told her love was weak; he really did love her.

'_That coward! He couldn't let go of his past to live his life. He was weak.'_

-0-

**You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for**

-0-

Sakura tenderly cared for Naruto's wounds and she cleaned a dried splatter of blood from his cheek with her tear dampened sleeve. He had gone on yet another mission to retrieve Sasuke from Orochimaru's clutches. Needless to say from his current state that he had failed. _'You shouldn't have gone, Naruto.'_

Sasuke had pitilessly driven his chidori into Naruto's stomach, and another dangerously close to his heart. _'Oh Naruto…'_ Sasuke had obviously forgotten the close ties that had once bound Team 7 together. Had forgotten how to love. _'As if he ever knew in the first place.'_

Maybe she wished that he had forgotten about Sasuke, even though his fate with Orochimaru was too terrible to imagine. Maybe she wished that he would suffer for all the grief he had caused Konoha. But then again, maybe secretly, deep inside her heart, she wished that Naruto had tried harder and brought him back. Maybe she wished that she could see Sasuke just one more time…

'_And you called him your best friend and best rival. Rival doesn't cut it. He's your enemy! Our enemy. No more search parties, Naruto. No more retrieval groups. No more suicide missions! You should've forgotten him! He's forgotten you. He's forgotten all of us! He deserves to be tortured! He deserves to suffer!'_

He had no heart anymore.

-0-

**But I don't know him anymore**

-0-

She had gotten a glimpse of him, once, on a mission. Half of her team had been killed. Needless slaughtering. They hadn't even been after him. The change in his eyes—besides the obvious change in color—had caused Sakura's breath to hitch in terror. He had the eyes of a heartless destroyer. _'Avenger my ass, Sasuke. You were a destroyer. You always will be. You destroyed mine and Ino's friendship. You destroyed my heart. You destroyed Naruto's trust. You destroyed Konoha. You destroyed yourself.'_

He was unrecognizable with that look in his eyes. _'Congratulations. You've become Itachi.'_

-0-

**There's nothing where he used to lie**

-0-

The large Uchiha compound was finally completely empty. The silence was eerie. His house was empty and on the list of missing-nin that Sakura filched from Tsunade's desk, she saw his name on the bottom.

'_Uchiha Sasuke. Tell me, how does a traitor prove himself to be strong? Those weak in the heart will prove weak in all else.'_

There was a hole in her heart. One that used to contain her love for Uchiha Sasuke.

-0-

**My conversation has run dry**

-0-

Sakura breezed through the hospital, trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. _'Everything's wrong. Nothing's right everything's _wrong!' "Haruno-san, you're required in room 531."

531. It should be room '666'. Her leaden feet let her towards the room and her hand hovered over the sliding door. She was forced to enter when Tsunade opened the door for her and dragged her in. Naruto wasn't there, of course. Not with the extensive damage he had received bringing Sasuke back.

Those eyes.

Sasuke stared at her and Sakura stared back. She opened up her mouth but found herself unable to talk. Maybe she wished she could insult him. Make him hurt as much at he had made her hurt. Maybe she wished she could just speak his name, so as to confirm that he was really there. Maybe she wished she could tell him how much she missed him and wished he had never left.

'_Screw you. I hope you impale yourself on an umbrella!'_

-0-

**That's what's going on, nothing's fine I'm torn**

-0-

Three years. He was still flanked by Anbu, who made no effort to mask their presence. They probably couldn't, anyways. Not from him. Sakura passed him at the market and ignored him. Instead, she clutched at Tenten's wrist tighter, glad for her support.

Maybe she wished that she could slowly vivisect him, piece by piece. His memories, not his body. That she could peel apart each moment of his life and make him examine each one; make him see what he had done. Maybe she wished she could run to him and latch her arms around his waist, never to let go. Maybe she wished she had never known him, and never experienced the ups and downs of _him._ Maybe she wished she had known him longer, and been able to keep him in Konoha. Keep him happy.

'_I love you. I hate you. Yin and yang. Or yang and yin? My heart beats for you but my mind would rather it stop. Torn between love and hate, mind and heart…'_

-0-

**A/N: Hm. Not sure if I like this story or not. Please review and tell me how you like it. And if you can, please visit my profile and message me on my upcoming stories, and how to handle them. REVIEW!**


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